Hard Wizurdz
by wienerbutt19
Summary: Four friends are band mates, but soon realize that their feelings are much, much more...
1. Chapter 1

Taylor wrote out a message in the group text "Yo bros, let's jam." as he did weekly. (usually on tuesdays)

Nineteen minutes later, Taylor arrived to Frankie's garage where they partied, played music, and occasionally whipped out their dicks.

Frankie greeted him with a smile. He had just been thinking about Taylor's cute little butt, and was already a little warm. Taylor smiled back and said "Hey braw, I wrote a new punk that sounds like all of our other songs. It's about how much my ex never touched my butt ever."

Frankie raised his eyebrows and said "What a fucktwit! I would touch your butt every minute of the day if I got the chance!"

Taylor looked around and replied "Rod and Jeff aren't here yet, I would love for you to touch me tenderly."

Frankie looked a little embarrassed, but walked over to embrace Taylor. His hand slid down Taylor's back. Taylor shivered and squealed out loud. His went lower until his hand reached the crack. They looked into each other's eyes as Frankie's fingers went in between the butt cheeks.

Just as Frankie almost moaned out loud, Rod came around the corner. Taylor and Frankie were now kissing and didn't notice. Rod sat quietly on a green fold up chair. He was used to Frankie and Taylor doing weird things, they were in the band Hard Wizudz! But a new thought came into his mind. As he watched them kiss, he couldn't help but to feel a little jealous. Fuck, Frankie is hot as fuck.

Jeff drove into the driveway and scared everyone in the garage. Taylor and Frankie were suddenly aware of Rod and Jeff, but didn't care. It felt too right to be embarrassed by it. Jeff got out his guitar amp, and they started practice.

Later after practice, Taylor packed up his stuff, and Frankie went to apply for some colleges inside his house. Rod and Jeff were left alone in the garage. Jeff went over to Rod and said "Hey dude, you look cold. Do you want to borrow my coat? You look like you need it."

Rod indeed needed it. His hard nipples were super visible through his shirt. It was due to the cold, but mostly due to the sexual tension in the room.

"Here, you can borrow my shirt too." Jeff said as he removed his coat and shirt.

Rod stared at Jeff's beautiful abs. He wasn't ready for this.

"Uhh... I have to go help my mom with something" said Rod as he ran out the garage to his car.

Jeff felt the sadness of a thousand things that could have been, but didn't. He sat down and waited for Frankie to finish doing stuff inside. He opened a beer, and got very close to crying. He had been really into Rod for so long, and he thought taking off his shirt would start a beautiful relationship. Jeff sat and pondered his thoughts until Frankie came through the door.

"Ugh, college is the fucking dumbest" said as he sat down next to Jeff. They have always had a strong bond, being the main string players in the band.

Jeff broke the comfortable silence with a question. "Do you think Rod and I could ever be a thing? I tried to initiate something tonight, but he didn't seem to be into it.

"You know Rod, he is a very shy person. He probably is totally in love with you." Frankie said with a smile.

They both sat until Jeff finally left Frankie to fantasize about Taylor.

"Maybe next practice we can go further." Frank thought to himself.


	2. Chapter 2

Jeff rolled over on his bed on a thursday afternoon. He usually slept in, but something woke him up. It was the sound of his phone, he had gotten a text message. Jeff was not expecting a text. He looked with his sleepy eyes at the phone. It was from Rod. He wanted to have lunch at the most punk place ever: Red Cup. Jeff smiled as he went to get beef jerky from the kitchen. He might be head over heels, hopelessly in love, but he was not a pussy vegetarian.

Jeff drove up to the bike rack, and looked for Rod's car. He didn't find it,so he went inside to order some beans and rice to put his beef jerky in. As he sat down with his food, his eyes looked up to the door. Rod was walking through in a baby blue polo shirt. Jeff's heart pounded as he called over Rod.

"I am a very insecure person, and I think we should end this relationship immediately. You deserve better." Rod said with a sad look.

"Honey, there is no one on this god damn earth that would be better than you. I see that, and you should look inside your heart and know that I am never going to find someone like you. I come home every night, and I think about you. What we could do together, and what you might say. I think about my future, and it is intertwined with you." Said Jeff.

Rod sat in disbelief. He had never knew someone who thought this deeply about him. Rod didn't even like himself that much.

Minutes went by, and suddenly Rod sprang over the table at Jeff and bear hugged him, flinging vegetarian bullshit meal everywhere. They laid there, their faces inches from each other. Rod leaned forward and pecked Jeff on the lips.

The Red Cup waiter yelled at them angrily "The fuck, guys?!" Rod and Jeff got up and ran out of the building, hand in hand.

They both got into Jeff's car and sat in giddiness. "Do you want to go get some real food? This vegetarian crap makes my head hurt. Let's go eat some dead animal!" said Rod.

Jeff started the car, and looked over at Rod. So innocent, so beautiful. "Do you want to get some real man meat?"

"Hell the fuck yeah!" Rod yelled, much too excited for his own good.


	3. Chapter 3

Taylor panted heavily as Frankie pumped his hard cock into him. He had never felt this way before. The way Frankie penetrated him felt heavenly. He was so gentle, but firm where it mattered. Just as Frankie came, Taylor looked up to see Rod and Jeff walking into Frankie's living room where he was currently being fucked up the ass.

Jeff froze. Rod took Jeff's hand and asked "Can we do that?"

Jeff then smiled and walked with Rod into Frankie's bedroom.

Frankie collapsed in exhaustion into the couch onto Taylor. Their hot, sweaty skin touched each other.

"You do the thing and it's great. I think I am in love. Why have we not done this earlier?" Frankie said with a smile. "It's like the best thing I have ever felt. And it's because of you. And how I feel about you."

Taylor spun around and looked into his eyes. He smiled as he said "Well, you got a big dick, I like it. And I like you."

They kissed and soon fell asleep watching Ellen.


	4. Chapter 4

Jeff sat down on a comfy chair with Rod not far behind. Rod sat between Jeff's legs with Jeff's arms around him. Rod felt sure and happy.

"I don't want to ever push you to do anything. We can take this super slow. I don't want to make you uncomfortable." Jeff said as he held Rod with a loving embrace.

Rod could hear the truth in his words. He felt it, too.

They talked for hours until they started talking about local pizza shops, and Rod felt something hard and warm on his back.

"Hey dude, you got something going on back there?" said Rod.

"Oh shit! I am sorry!" Jeff said as he backed up and went over to the bed to sit down.

"What it is? I want to see."

"Are you sure?" Jeff said uneasily.

"Yes, I am sure."

Jeff unbuckled his pants and pulled down his underwear.

"Oh my god, I didn't know they got that big! You walk around with this thing all day?" Rod said as he stared at the huge throbbing cock with excitement. "Do I have consent to give you the worst blow job you have every experienced?"

Jeff laughed "Yes you do, but don't worry about it, It's pretty simple. You have one! You know how it works. Just focus on the tip. I like that."

Rod walked over and put his hand around the shaft. His lips met the tip. He put it farther into his mouth until he tasted pre-cum. Jeff gasped and put his hands through Rod hair.

Rod had played with his own penis, but this was wholly different. The taste, the texture, the ballsack. Rod kept stimulating until Jeff screamed out "HOLY JEESE FUCK SHIT".

Rod swallowed and snuggled up to Jeff. Jeff just stared at the ceiling, his brain still trying to keep up with what just happened.

"Do you ever wonder what happens after you die?" Rod asked, his face resting on Jeff's chest.

"You are going to have to ask me that again at a later date. My brain is not fully functional at the moment. You are really good at that." Replied Jeff

"Taylor and I watch a lot of porn together. But he doesn't seem to watch it for the same reasons most people do. I picked up a couple techniques."

Jeff contemplated Taylor's brain and they both went to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

5

"Hey Rod, could you hand me that wrench?" Jeff asked from under hood "If we are going to play a show on Mars we need to get this spaceship up and running."

"How the hell did we get a show on Mars? I know we are going pretty far on this tour next week, but who do we know on Mars?" said Rod

"Joe Payne knows a guy who books shows there." replied Jeff. "I am super excited to go on tour with you. It's going to be awesome sleeping together every night. I hope my ballsack can handle it." Jeff smiled at Rod who blushed and smiled back.

"We don't have to make love everynight! Sometimes it's nice to just cuddle." Rod said

"Tell that to Frankie and Taylor. That show in Stillwater, they had sex twice on the way there and four on the way back. It was wild. I didn't mind watching, though. Frankie's got a nice schlong… but not as nice as yours!" Jeff added quickly.

"You know, I don't mind you looking at other guys. I sometimes look at other people. I think it's healthy." Rod said.

"Now if you started looking at girls, we would have a problem!" Jeff jokingly joked.

Rod's heart sank. He had never told anyone what happened that night he drank the Kracken.

"Umm… yeah, so…" Rod said nervously.

"Man, people who are attracted to female people are weird. What's the big deal about breasts? They are so boring." Jeff said.

"Yeah, I know what you mean." Rod lied.


	6. Chapter 6

Frankie pushed the door open as he carried a box of crap to the van. He struggled, but Taylor helps him with a smile.

"I'm always here to help you with your load" said Taylor

"Thanks, lover! Tour is going to be awesome. I'm just worried that we didn't pack the right things. There's not a wikihow article on how to prepare for a tour on Mars. I hope I brought enough underwear and condoms." Frankie said, thoughtfully.

"Don't worry, there's a 7Eleven on the moon we can stop at if we need anything. Honestly, we will probably stop there regardless, Jeff has a small bladder." Taylor said with a laugh.

"ROD DOESN'T LIKE GETTING PEED ON, OR ELSE THAT WOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM! GOD DAMN IT TAYLOR!" Jeff shouted as he laughed. He was putting some last minute duct tape on the van's wing. "I think we should be ready for launch, the weather looks good and I'm out of duct tape so we don't have a choice."

Everyone piled into the van and buckled in. Rod flipped some switches and pushed some buttons as Frankie sat next to him and watched some gauges and numbers on the screens in front of him.

"Everything looks good here. The mayonnaise goose jammer looks a little sketchy, but the tecate readings are looking normal. We should be ready for launch in less than four minutes. How are the turtle fluids?" Frankie said into his headset

"Really gusty at coordinates 3293472 by 320033. We should probably steer clear of the Loerter. Reports coming in say the I84 sky road is our best bet." Taylor replied as he checked his super advanced super computer.

"Can we postpone the launch? I'm super horny." Jeff asked.

"Nah, dude. Sex in zero gravity is 30 times better. It will be worth the wait." Taylor replied.

"Lift off in 7… 6… 5… 4… 3...:" Rod counted down

"Engaging target limiters!" Frankie yelled.

"2…"

"Increasing motor to max speed and liquid. Let go of the clutch."

"1… Zero… Blast off please."

The thrusters gaped open and the van hurdled forward to the blue sky. With steam everywhere, the crew had poor visibility, but kept high spirits. The van broke out of the atmosphere and was greeted with the vast emptiness of space.

"Damn it, I forgot my drum rug. I hope they have one at the venue." Rod shamefully said to himself as Jeff's large meaty cock poked his cheek. He puts his mouth around it and starts stroking with his tongue. Jeff pulls off Rod's pants and fills his hands with penis. Rod screams as he cums into zero gravity. Cum is floating everywhere. Jeff get behind Rod and pushes his wiener into his lovely butthole. He pumps and moans until he gets off.


	7. Chapter 7

"Ugh, I can't sleep. Since we got back from tour my sleep schedule has been fucked." Frankie thought to himself as he rolled over in bed. He fondled his nightstand in the dark until he finds his

phone. "I wonder if Taylor is up." he thinks and sends his butt buddy a message.

Four minutes pass and he gets a reply. Frankie smiles as he feels the vibration in his hands. He was hoping Taylor would talk to him. The whole band had a huge fight after Taylor did a line of cocaine with an alien. Sure, it wasn't super illegal on Mars, but it still freaked them out.

"I hope the coke didn't mess up your dick ;)" Frankie texted, he wasn't sure if they could joke about it yet. He still didn't get his answer when Taylor asked him to a movie later that week.

Taylor's sparkle gray Mustang rolled to a stop in front of Frankie's driveway. Frankie heard the car and quickly ran out the garage door of his parents house.

"I haven't seen you since tour! How have you been? And how cocained are you?" Frankie practically yelled.

"Can we just forget about it? It was a one time thing. I'll never do it again. The aliens said it would fix my diabetes… those fucking fucks lied to me. :/ I googled it on the way home and cocaine only fixes type 2, and I have type 1." Taylor sadly said.

"Damn, tough break. At least we can go to the movies today. I fucking love those little twinky people." Frankie did the saying.

Frankie sat down in the dark theater next to Taylor. He missed most of the first part of the movie because he decided he wanted popcorn right as the movie was starting.

"Homie, you took forever. Did you at least get me some candy?" Taylor annoyed

"I only got me a medium popcorn, but I can give you something to put in your mouth later." Frankie answered with a wink.

The movie starts and Taylor is very bored. He only agreed to this movie because Frankie said it was good. He reached over to stroke Frankie's leg.

'THIS IS THE BEST MOVIE OF THE DECADE, YOU CAN TOUCH MY WIENER ANY OTHER TIME! BUT NOW IS NOT THE TIME!"

Taylor jumped in his seat. This wasn't the first time he was denied cummies, and it wouldn't be the last.

"TAYLOR, IF YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH MINIONS MEAN TO ME, I DON'T KNOW IF WE CAN STILL BE A THING!" yelled Frankie, ruining the movie for everyone else there, although, how could you ruin a minions movies? They are already literal shit, they can not get any worse.

Taylor quickly snuggled up into a ball in his seat. The only way he could get through this movie if he thought about testicles, and he did.

"Did you really mean that? The thing you said about us might not being a thing?" Taylor asked as he poured himself some coffee at breakfast the next morning.

Frankie looked up from his phone and replied "Dude, I was in a Minion Rage. I shouldn't be held accountable for any actions during that time period."

"Well, good, because I think I might be in a Frankie Rage if you know what I mean." Taylor said, unbuttoning his shirt.

"HELL THE FUCK YEAH!" Frankie squealed as he pulled off his pants, squatted up on the table, and proceeded to tea bag Taylor's coffee.

"OH YES! So hot! So fucking hot!" Taylor yelled as he slurped the coffee residue off of Frankie's hairy testicles.

The feeling of his lips on his balls was too much for him, and Frankie came all over the kitchen table and all over the delicious pancakes stacked on said table.

They both went to cuddle on the couch and left the mess for someone else to clean up.


End file.
